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The sad part is that the more I think about it, the more I get excited about TFA. I want do it so much! 

But at the same time, there’s still a few more days before the results.

I need to submit my other apps -__-

but sometimes I just want to be rich so I can buy clothes, shoes, and makeup.

For the past 2 years, I’ve been going crazy with this concept. I mean I have some money… not a lot, but it’s my own… 

Well, freedom comes with a price, I suppose. My wardrobe might be getting bigger, and I’m a little happier… but my pockets are getting smaller!

Too small for a practical college student. 

My friend gave me a slap in the face wake up call today.

She’s pretty good at that. One of the reasons why I am so glad I have her in my life.

I exhibit patterns every year under stress, and it’s not healthy in any way.

In fact, it usually brings me back.

—

your warm hands holding me throughout the night.

your reassuring words.

your ideas about the future.

your “you are such a girl” stare.

your cute smile.

your beautiful, always thinking, always intelligent, always so deep eyes.

You make me want to revolve the whole world around you.

And I am a senior with an excel workbook of so many applications and potential futures.

I wish he were here again.

Curvy women are real women. Skinny women are real women. Women who have had boob jobs or lip enhancements or liposuction are still real women. Size 0 may make no sense mathematically, but a woman who wears that size is as real as the one who wears a size 16. What makes us “real” people is not the shape of our flesh but our basic humanity. And we lose our humanity when we judge – not when we lose weight, gain weight, or make the intensely personal decision to undergo cosmetic surgery. 
- Hugo Schwyzer